Good night, nurse!
In a letter to Country Life in B.C. (Assumptions premature on task force recommendations, page 6, February 2010), British Columbia Minister of Agriculture and Land Steve Thomson assured readers “that government is committed to helping B.C.’s cattle industry deal with the multiple challenges of the past seven years.”
This will be welcome news around the kitchen tables in the province’s ranch houses where hard-pressed operators will be sifting through paperwork trying to get an accurate measurement of just how deep of a hole seven years of multiple challenges can make.
The minister goes on to note the recommendations in the final report of the Ranching Task Force are under active review and that speculation or assumptions about the effectiveness of the recommendations, final decisions or funding is premature. He then reiterates that given the current state of the economy, it would probably be best for all concerned not to get their hopes up. The same point is made in the task force’s final report at least three times.
In its report, the Ranching Task Force makes an extensive list of adverse regulations and policies and suggests several actions and initiatives that might ease the sector’s woes.
It would be hard to find a more self-reliant or resilient bunch than cattle ranchers. Give them two good years in ten and all you’d ever hear about was the practical joke that got played at the bull sale or that little misunderstanding at Stampede time. The rest of the time, they were at home doing what needed done, hunkered down through low prices and long winters, dreaming about an early spring and dollar-fifty calves. None of the ones I remember as a kid could even say the word government unless it was hyphenated to a cuss word.
That was when there was a cycle in the cattle business that more-or-less guaranteed there would be at least a couple of break-even, and a couple honest-to-God profitable years in a given ten year stretch.
In the good years, the banker could be given a new lease on life, the baler that was older than the horse that died twenty years ago could be replaced and the cheque book didn’t have to be balanced before you stuck your neck out and bought new wiper blades for the pickup.
All that is long gone.
There is still a beef cycle but now the highs aren’t any better than the lows used to be. Mad cow, ethanol, country of origin labeling, the muscular Canadian dollar, captive supplies and the fact that two multi-national companies now control more than eighty percent of the national slaughter capacity have conspired to drive cattle prices down to levels unseen since the Great Depression.
The salient question now is: how can cattlemen reclaim a fair share of the value of their product? What strategy or mechanism will prise hard cash off of the profit side of the multi-national’s ledger and steer it through the grasping gauntlet all the way to a hip pocket in Hanceville?
These questions weren’t asked specifically in the Ranching Task Force report, although they’ve probably crossed the mind of nearly every cattle producer in the province. But therein lies the rub: the government isn’t likely to act on or answer a question that wasn’t asked or a solution that wasn’t spelled out.
This is not to say the government is without a strategy. To be fair, we should give the last word to the minister: “The Ministry of Agriculture and Lands is working with the B.C. Agriculture Council and our federal counterparts to take full advantage of the 2010 Olympic Games, promoting Canadian and B.C. agriculture products, including beef, to an international audience via the thousands of media who will be present during the games.”
I can see it now:
“Hello everyone, this is Dick Handsome here at the 2010 Olympic media centre bringing you all of the days’ exciting highlights. First, we are going to Shirley Adorable who is going to bring us a story of Olympic history in the making! Shirley…
“Thank you, Dick. I’m Shirley Adorable coming to you live from the exciting Ennui-sur-Glace venue where Olympic history was made twice in the same event. Earlier today, the pairs entry from the tiny principality of Libraria won Gold in the exciting Ennui-sur-Glace final.”
“Is that such a big deal, Shirley?”
“Yes. It is, Dick. This is Libraria’s first medal ever! It has taken more than a century but they are finally on the board. Ennui-sur-Glace is the only Olympic event that Libraria qualified for, so this pair is the country’s only athletes. They were a 117,000-to-1 shot to make the podium and as if that isn’t enough, they are twins who are 83 years young and that makes them the oldest Olympic gold medalists ever, Dick!”
“So, Shirley, you’re saying that a couple of 83 year old Librarians have made Olympic history by winning Gold in ... uh ...”
“Ennui-sur-Glace, Dick. It really is the story of these Olympics so far.”
“Are they with you now, Shirley?”
“No, Dick. Unfortunately they were whisked right off the podium and onto a plane to Disneyland. I believe that a spokesman from the 411 member Librarian Olympic Committee will be speaking directly to you right there at the 2010 Olympic Media Centre, Dick. I’m Shirley Adorable returning you now to Dick Handsome. Dick…
“Thank you, Shirley Adorable. Well fans, Shirley was absolutely right. I have been joined here at our news desk by all 411 members of the Librarian Olympic Committee. It’s complete pandemonium here, folks. Let me see if I can have a few words with the head Librarian. Sir … sir … Excuse me, sir.”
“Whad ou wand.”
“I’m sorry folks; I’ve caught the head Librarian while he’s having something to eat. Let me try again. Sir…”
“What?”
“This must be a great day for all Librarians.”
“Why?”
“Well, your first ever Olympic gold medal.”
“Oh yeah that.”
“Surely, you must be excited by such an incredible performance?”
“Shirley here. I surely was, Dick!”
“Not you, Shirley. I was speaking to the head Librarian.”
“Are you sure, Dick?”
“I surely am, Shirley. Now back to you. Sir, you must be excited by today’s events?”
“It was okay. But those Librarians are pretty old and to be totally honest with you, I always found that Ennui-sur-Glace thing a little boring.”
“Really, I’m amazed. I would have thought you’d be ecstatic.”
“Wew there iv sombding I’m eggdited about.”
“Really, sir. Maybe finish your mouthful before you comment. What is it you are excited about?”
“It’s these little hors-d’oeuvres! They are made with genuine B.C. beef. Very scrumptious! If I was you, I’d go out and buy a cattle ranch. When all the Librarians back home find out about this, we’re talking serious money, my handsome friend!”
“There you have, it folks Forget the gold medal; B.C. beef is the real story of these Olympics. Goodnight, Shirley.”
“Goodnight, Dick.”
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